Week 6 Update

Well, there was no week 5 update due to the holidays and in true New Year's fashion, I guess this will double as a resolution post. We've been making preparations for starting the Body-for-LIFE program on Monday. I've started our notebooks and got daily printouts made for the first two weeks. The scary part will be taking the "before" photos, as I've mentioned. This will also mean getting up a lot earlier than I'm used to, probably 7am to start and then moving back to 6am when Wes' work schedule changes. That means being in bed at 10pm and virtually no free time in the evenings Monday-Thursday due to TKD. *sigh* It will be odd getting used to eating six times a day too, and consciously getting an actual portion of protein in with each of those. I intend to look into protein shakes for at least two of those meals. As it stands, I think this will be the eating schedule:

• Meal 1 - 8am - fruit and toast
• Meal 2 - 10am - shake
• Meal 3 - 12pm - turkey sandwich and some vegetable
• Meal 4 - 3pm - shake
• Meal 5 - 6pm - yogurt and some protein (cottage cheese? still haven't tried it)
• Meal 6 - 9pm - chicken, rice and green beans

It's strange how daunting eating more is. I'm also just used to a carbo-full diet and am floundering with the idea of eating that much protein, especially as an ex-vegetarian who really only eats chicken. The key here will be planning. I don't think that can be overlooked or stressed enough! I do really like how there's a free day built into the week where you can eat whatever you want. I'm excited to get started.

Week 4 Update

Not much progress was made this week. We've stopped doing the "morning exercises" all together. For me at least, it's partly in anticipation of the new exercise routine we'll be starting with the Body-For-LIFE program. Still need to finish reading the book! Just two more chapters left and the rest are appendices (FAQ, exercise breakdowns). I did find the daily journal pages for eating and exercising online and started a notebook to track progress. We're also considering joining the 2008 Challenge.

I have learned all of Choong-Moo and have been going to classes regularly. Tonight was really fun; we did combinations of forward and backward rolls, coming up into kicks. I plan to create and memorize my ho sin sool over the holiday break.

On the mental front, I have yet to start meditation either but have really begun my awareness practice. I can tell I am getting more in touch with separating feelings from learned behavioral responses to them. I even had a dream of being pregnant which I interpret to be my "rebirth" into a more mature and aware person. I've been feeling much more balanced an happy too on a daily basis.

Week 3 Update

I am well into Body for LIFE and will be making some changes to the goals because some aren't really "goals" in the sense that they have measurable results. Anyway, the book presents several questions you have to answer before starting the program:

What are your reasons for making the decision to change?
I've felt the desire to change for years. I want to be a healthy person and I want to turn things around while I am still young. I want to feel good about myself and my well-being. I want to feel more confident and more energetic.

Five goals to achieve within 12 weeks:

1. Lose 30 pounds of fat.
2. Gain strength and muscle to where I can do 25 real push-ups.
3. Gain stamina to where I can actually do 300 jumping jacks in a row.
4. Have a healthy, defined eating routine that limits eating out to twice a week.
5. Earn my senior red belt.

Three unauthorized patterns of action:

1. Eating out all the damn time! Not cooking dinner.
2. Going to bed too late and then not getting up to do exercise.
3. Doing negative self-talk instead of having compassion for my feelings.

Three new patterns of action to help me reach my goals:

1. Get up each day and do a workout.
2. Establish a regular pattern of sleep - this includes weekends.
3. Meditate daily to increase self-awareness.

So, I am pretty stoked to get started on this 12 week program. I hope to finish reading the book this week. It recommends reading and reviewing these goals and statements every morning and every evening during the 12 weeks. It also recommends taking a "before" picture and I'm pretty uneasy about doing that; I know it will be bad. But I suppose that's the point.

I did finish up The Depression Book (that's one goal accomplished this month) and am now re-reading it aloud. I am practicing awareness of my feelings to start breaking down some of those automatic behaviors and reactions to them. I want to start recognizing feelings for feelings and not making judgments on them.

Week 2 Update

Well, this week was a little better. Still having trouble getting up early and doing the exercises, especially on the weekends. But, I did do them Wednesday, Monday and Tuesday -- even doing all 300 jumping jacks today (in 50 count segments). I also attended every TKD class and went early most of those days to teach/help out beforehand. Yesterday, I finished learning all the moves for my next form, Choong-Moo, which I'll need for my next test. Additionally, I need to start working up a ho sin sool and plan to practice that quite a bit over my 10 day break from work for the holidays.

Over the weekend, I started reading Body-for-LIFE meaning I got through the preface and forward. I am trying to read like four books at once! I'm also about halfway through The Depression Book which is another title from Zen teacher Cheri Huber. I'm really enjoying her approach to depression (What are you depressing?). For a long time I've wanted to practice mindfulness and I find her methods help with that pursuit.

I don't think I've lost any weight yet (I don't have a working scale anyway) but I am feeling stronger and my back problems have lessened quite a bit.

Week 1 Update

I am getting off to an abysmal start. I very nearly removed this blog and gave up yesterday. I did well last Tuesday and Wednesday but then did nothing Thursday through Sunday :( I went to class last night though and got up this morning and did crunches/push-ups. I have to keep telling myself that my goal is where I want to be in six months, not what I can do now.

The reality is that I can do about 25 crunches or 5 push-ups at one time so I've been doing a small set of crunches alternating with push-ups until I reach 150 crunches (a mere 30 push-ups). But I can't even do one true push-up at the moment so I am having to work my way up! It will take time (I have to keep reminding myself of that.). I mean, I really am in quite bad shape, especially compared to where I was one year ago. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do 150 push-ups but that's the goal.

The 300 jumping jacks goal has proven extremely difficult. I've attempted it once--after being forced into it in class unsuspectingly the night before--and it tore up my calves. I was only able to do 150 and that was by doing three sets of 50. I was so sore the next few days that I partly blame my lax attitude to the project on to that.

Yesterday, I got the book in the mail so I need to read through that and start in on the 12-week diet/exercise program. The reviews I've read of the book say it has a lot of good stuff in there but some is just silly random crap so use what works and chuck the rest. I need to start incorporating weight/resistance training into my routine and this will help with that part at least.

Is it bad to say I'm looking forward to DoubleDave pizza rolls tonight? I mean c'mon, they're 2 for 1 on Tuesdays. It's so tasty...

It's time

I'm the type of person who tends to internalize a lot of my frustrations until I get to these breaking points where I feel trapped, angry and miserable, unable to do anything to change it. But I am an optimist (I couldn't have made it this far if I weren't) and I do believe I can change; I just haven't found the right way or the right time.

I am a person who has a need to document things so I thought starting a blog and tracking the changes and transformations I want to make might help me. This morning I did a Google search for "training for black belt" because I am in sorry shape and wanted to find some sort of program that might guide me over the next few months up to my black belt test in Tae Kwon Do. I read about this program called the Ultimate Black Belt Test that seems quite awesome to me with a lot of good ideas and I intend to use it as a basis for my own personal growth. I would even like to go through this program one day but I am not at that point yet (never mind the needing to be a blue belt in Jiu Jitsu). Life is a journey and I'll get there one day.

I really think one's goals need to be written (or typed) so that they are a reality. Just having thoughts in my head hasn't proven to be very productive. I need concrete goals and a time table. I am starting with six months (182 days including today). What can I accomplish by 19 May 2008?

1. Lose weight: 50 lbs. I am hovering around 200 lbs which is very disappointing because last year I lost about 20 lbs and have gained it all back. I have been struggling with being overweight since I was about 20. In weeks I have started having major back pain because of the weight of my breasts.
   
   
2. Get in shape. I just purchased the book Body for LIFE by Bill Phillips. It's a twelve week program for diet and exercise.
   
   
3. Crunches and push-ups - 150 every other day. I know the benefits of these exercises!
   
   
4. Jumping jacks - 300 every other day. My TKD instructor, Chad, suggested this one. It's a good way to get the heart pumping.
   
   
5. Daily meditation - 15 minutes every day. This is another thing that I know has great mental and physical benefits but I have not been doing.
   
   
6. Read at least one book each month. I've been saying for years that I want/need to read more but haven't been doing it. Admittedly, I've read one book this entire year and I have a book that's been sitting on my shelf here at work since June.
   
   
7. Attend every Tae Kwon Do class ~ four classes per week. Last year I went to TKD religiously but have let it slide to the back burner this year. In part I have gotten bored with the curriculum. But if I want to improve myself, I must improve my situation and mold classes into what I need them to be.
   
   
8. Journal daily. This is something I started a few weeks back and need to continue. I'm keeping a personal journal with entries about my feelings.
   
   
9. Blog weekly. At a minimum, I will write here about my progress each week.
   
   
10. Improve my diet by cooking dinner. No more fast food! I must make every effort to plan my meals better and eat more fruits and vegetables. At the moment, I eat an apple at breakfast and grapes at lunch. Now I need incorporate the veggies.

Let's see where this takes me!