My Black Belt Test Paper

For my 1st Dan black belt test in Tae Kwon Do, I was required to write a paper about what it means to become a black belt and what inherent responsibilities it brings. I thought I would share that paper here. My test was on 11 January 2014 and I passed! :) This was the culmination of more than 4.5 years of preparation, a journey I started in 2005 and from which I took a break from 2009-2012 for graduate school. I returned at the beginning of 2013 with the goal of earning my black belt—I was a red belt at the time—by the end of the year.

What Becoming a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do Means to Me

10 January 2014

My journey on the way to earning my black belt has been long and full of obstacles. I started training in 2005 as an adult and it has been quite the balancing act between work, martial arts, and all the other inherent responsibilities of being an adult. In many ways, I think trying to do all of this at the same time has made me a better student because it requires a good amount of discipline and determination. I don’t like leaving things unfinished so while it has been nearly nine years since I first began training—with a four year break for graduate school—I returned a year ago to complete the foundational learning of my Tae Kwon Do experience.

This transition to black belt primarily symbolizes for me the very essence of perseverance and indomitable spirit. It’s not a trivial undertaking to learn and incorporate a new set of skills like TKD into one’s life. I am not as young as most students, not in as good physical shape and with much less energy, yet I strive to the best of my abilities (most days) to keep up and accomplish the same skills and tasks. I had a real crisis at red belt with comparing myself to other students and feeling I was not as “good” because of these differences. But with a lot of self reflection, I’ve come to accept that my best is just that—my best. There will always be those with more and those with less talent, drive, ability, or ambition to continue this journey. But for what I might lack in physical ability, I make up for in determination.

As I transition to a true student of TKD, I think the biggest responsibility lies in helping others with their journeys. Teaching skills is the easy part; that is, explaining how to do a particular kick, demonstrating self defense moves, or reciting academic knowledge is something all students are capable of as they move up the ranks. But, upon reaching advanced levels, students should hone an understanding and appreciation for encouraging less advanced students to try their bests and recognize their inherent skills and abilities and to appreciate themselves for undertaking this art. I can’t speak for everyone but I think in order to achieve this level of accomplishment requires maturity, self reflection, and mental fortitude that naturally leads one to want to help others and encourage them to continue learning.

I look forward to attaining the rank of first dan because, most simply, it is something I have wanted to accomplish. Yes, I have enjoyed the journey and learned a lot about myself along the way while internalizing and exploring the tenets of TKD; but while the transition into true student is important, I recognize that for myself the transition out of novice student is equally important. I feel accomplished. The idea of having a real “title” is pretty cool too. In many ways, this is even better than finishing graduate school because it’s something I just wanted to do. No professional reason, only personal. I did this for me.

Note: The title I now enjoy is "Jo-Kyo" which means first degree black belt.

Week 4 Update

Not much progress was made this week. We've stopped doing the "morning exercises" all together. For me at least, it's partly in anticipation of the new exercise routine we'll be starting with the Body-For-LIFE program. Still need to finish reading the book! Just two more chapters left and the rest are appendices (FAQ, exercise breakdowns). I did find the daily journal pages for eating and exercising online and started a notebook to track progress. We're also considering joining the 2008 Challenge.

I have learned all of Choong-Moo and have been going to classes regularly. Tonight was really fun; we did combinations of forward and backward rolls, coming up into kicks. I plan to create and memorize my ho sin sool over the holiday break.

On the mental front, I have yet to start meditation either but have really begun my awareness practice. I can tell I am getting more in touch with separating feelings from learned behavioral responses to them. I even had a dream of being pregnant which I interpret to be my "rebirth" into a more mature and aware person. I've been feeling much more balanced an happy too on a daily basis.

Week 2 Update

Well, this week was a little better. Still having trouble getting up early and doing the exercises, especially on the weekends. But, I did do them Wednesday, Monday and Tuesday -- even doing all 300 jumping jacks today (in 50 count segments). I also attended every TKD class and went early most of those days to teach/help out beforehand. Yesterday, I finished learning all the moves for my next form, Choong-Moo, which I'll need for my next test. Additionally, I need to start working up a ho sin sool and plan to practice that quite a bit over my 10 day break from work for the holidays.

Over the weekend, I started reading Body-for-LIFE meaning I got through the preface and forward. I am trying to read like four books at once! I'm also about halfway through The Depression Book which is another title from Zen teacher Cheri Huber. I'm really enjoying her approach to depression (What are you depressing?). For a long time I've wanted to practice mindfulness and I find her methods help with that pursuit.

I don't think I've lost any weight yet (I don't have a working scale anyway) but I am feeling stronger and my back problems have lessened quite a bit.

It's time

I'm the type of person who tends to internalize a lot of my frustrations until I get to these breaking points where I feel trapped, angry and miserable, unable to do anything to change it. But I am an optimist (I couldn't have made it this far if I weren't) and I do believe I can change; I just haven't found the right way or the right time.

I am a person who has a need to document things so I thought starting a blog and tracking the changes and transformations I want to make might help me. This morning I did a Google search for "training for black belt" because I am in sorry shape and wanted to find some sort of program that might guide me over the next few months up to my black belt test in Tae Kwon Do. I read about this program called the Ultimate Black Belt Test that seems quite awesome to me with a lot of good ideas and I intend to use it as a basis for my own personal growth. I would even like to go through this program one day but I am not at that point yet (never mind the needing to be a blue belt in Jiu Jitsu). Life is a journey and I'll get there one day.

I really think one's goals need to be written (or typed) so that they are a reality. Just having thoughts in my head hasn't proven to be very productive. I need concrete goals and a time table. I am starting with six months (182 days including today). What can I accomplish by 19 May 2008?

1. Lose weight: 50 lbs. I am hovering around 200 lbs which is very disappointing because last year I lost about 20 lbs and have gained it all back. I have been struggling with being overweight since I was about 20. In weeks I have started having major back pain because of the weight of my breasts.
   
   
2. Get in shape. I just purchased the book Body for LIFE by Bill Phillips. It's a twelve week program for diet and exercise.
   
   
3. Crunches and push-ups - 150 every other day. I know the benefits of these exercises!
   
   
4. Jumping jacks - 300 every other day. My TKD instructor, Chad, suggested this one. It's a good way to get the heart pumping.
   
   
5. Daily meditation - 15 minutes every day. This is another thing that I know has great mental and physical benefits but I have not been doing.
   
   
6. Read at least one book each month. I've been saying for years that I want/need to read more but haven't been doing it. Admittedly, I've read one book this entire year and I have a book that's been sitting on my shelf here at work since June.
   
   
7. Attend every Tae Kwon Do class ~ four classes per week. Last year I went to TKD religiously but have let it slide to the back burner this year. In part I have gotten bored with the curriculum. But if I want to improve myself, I must improve my situation and mold classes into what I need them to be.
   
   
8. Journal daily. This is something I started a few weeks back and need to continue. I'm keeping a personal journal with entries about my feelings.
   
   
9. Blog weekly. At a minimum, I will write here about my progress each week.
   
   
10. Improve my diet by cooking dinner. No more fast food! I must make every effort to plan my meals better and eat more fruits and vegetables. At the moment, I eat an apple at breakfast and grapes at lunch. Now I need incorporate the veggies.

Let's see where this takes me!

Brown Belt!

This was a scary test. I missed three of the last five weeks of classes trying to let a foot injury I sustained just before the last test finally heal. It's not easy getting me to stop doing something for so long :D Again, I was allowed to double-test and I was really concerned that I wasn't ready. Brown belt is the the first rank of the advanced echelon and was another cumulative test. That is, I had to do all my forms again, including the one I learned this last cycle: Toi-Gye. I haven't perfected it yet and it's still not ingrained to where I can just do it.

In addition to demonstrating proficiency in basic techniques, I had to do sparring, prepare a ho sin sool (self-defense demonstration) and write a paper about what Tae Kwon Do means to me (see below). Brandon was also testing for brown belt which was a bit awkward because he's always been ahead of me in belt ranking. Master Thomas decided to let him double-test, though, and he was told he could earn his senior brown belt if he could do a flying sidekick over four people and break the blue board. I was one of the people he jumped over so I didn't see the kick, but I heard it! His mom got a picture of it which I'll post if I can get a copy.

It's amazing to think that I'm 4th gup. I even have a title of sorts now: Dan Bo; it means "black belt candidate" and now the kids can call me Dan Bo Rachele instead of just Miss Rachele. When we bow in and out of class, I was recognized by the phrase sun bae nim gae which means "face the senior color belt" but now it's dan bo nim gae. Can you tell I'm totally stoked by all of this? It really does help to attend eight classes a week (four adult, four advanced) and teach another twelve (six tots classes and six kids classes).

What Tae Kwon Do Means to Me

I began training in Tae Kwon Do about two years ago as part of an adult continuing education program run by the local school district near my home in San Antonio. It started out as two classes a week for eight week and I was hooked from class one! Mostly I was excited to have found such an activity on my own, to be the only one in my group of friends in martial arts, to have something that I could work to be good at that was just mine—a personal journey even. What keeps me coming into the dojang four days a week is simple: I find immense relaxation and enjoyment in the practice; I get to teach others and I know I’m doing something to better myself.

I thought initially when I started practicing Tae Kwon Do that it would be a good physical outlet for stress, all the kicking and punching, pounding on bags and pads, sometimes people. But as it turns out, I’ve found it to be less about aggression and more about relaxation. I’m able to forget the stresses in my life for awhile and focus on my training and have fun. I’m actually more energized and alive after a good workout rather than exhausted. Any anger or sadness I might have been feeling usually melt away as I immerse my thoughts into self-improvement. I can go home feeling happy and refreshed, ready to take on the next day’s activities.

Another part of the pleasure I get from Tae Kwon Do is helping others improve, especially the kids. It’s extremely rewarding to see them try so hard and to be able to assist them in their own journeys, knowing that what they learn now at such early ages will give them an edge in the world. I really appreciate the opportunity to be an assistant instructor—not only do I get the chance to teach some of the material and sometimes even run parts of the classes but it keeps the curriculum fresher in my mind which in turn improves my own practice. It’s my hope that I help to make the classes somewhere the kids want to come back to each week.

Overall, though, I love practicing Tae Kwon Do because I know I’m doing something that is bettering my whole person. There are the obvious physical benefits: it gets me out from in front of the computer, gives me a chance to exercise, has resulted in my losing weight and now keeps me in pretty good shape. Additionally, it has helped my mental and spiritual well-being as it requires determination, dedication and a will to improve. It would be easier to just come to class twice a week but I want to be great at this—I’ve found something I want to pursue as far as I can. I now have a focus and clarity on life that had been lacking for a long time. I am confident that the skills I learn and hone in Tae Kwon Do will beneficially affect all aspects of my life.

Today, hundreds of classes later, I have gained a deep respect for this art and those who practice it. I truly strive to live by the tenants of Tae Kwon Do, to be centered and to use my practice as a ground in my life, something I can turn to and enjoy even on my worst days. It gives my life structure and goals to work towards. I am unbelievably fortunate to have found something I love doing and have done well. Tae Kwon Do is a way of life of which I am proud to be a part.

Blue Belt Test

Ready for Blue Belt Test

Tonight my Tae Kwon Do school, North Austin Tae Kwon Do, had its quarterly belt test. I showed up early and helped out a bit with the kids' tests since I am an assistant instructor. I spend roughly 16 hours a week at the dojang and I love every second of it. :)

This first picture is of me before the test. Master Thomas' wife took photos of everyone for the Web site first. There's not much to say except that a) I passed and b) I doubled-tested again. I am so stoked! They just decided that blue belt and above can wear black doboks.

So the other picture is of me performing the form Do-San. I was then asked to perform Won-Hyo (for the blue belt part). For breaks, I had to do a front snap kick—I've broken the black board with this kick in class. And for the blue belt portion, I had to break an orange board with a modified roundhouse kick where you hit with the ball of your foot.

Performing Do-San Hyung

w00t Green Belt

I am so stoked. Tonight was our quarterly belt test at my dojang, North Austin Tae Kwon Do, and I was invited to test for my senior orange belt. I arrived early to practice while the kids belt test was still going on. I felt really strong, confident going into the test—I knew I knew my stuff.

I was called forward by Master Thomas to test with the yellow belt. We went through basic moves, kicks and strikes we're supposed to know. The only thing I messed up on was that he told us to do side block and I sort of blanked out and started doing low block. Anyway, then we did our forms. Mine was Dan Gun, a 21 step form named for the Holy Dangun, legendary founder of Korea in 2333 b.c. Next was self-defense and sparring demonstrations. We are also required to know some academic knowledge; I was asked what "Dan Gun" meant; what Ku Ki Bey Ray means (face the flags, which we do before and after class in respect); and lastly who General Choi Hong Hi was to TKD.

Once finished, we were instructed to sit back down in line. But then the three judges (Master Thomas and the Jo Kyo Chads) started talking back and fourth amongst themselves. To my delight, Master Thomas asked me if I wanted to take the green belt test too! I said, "Yes,sir." and stood up to take my place in line to test along side the blue belts as green is the first Gup of the intermediate levels.

Sliding kicks, falls, rolls, I did it all but was a little nervous that my performance was weak. I did feel pretty good about my form, Do-San, seeing as how I learned it only three weeks ago. But I've been practicing diligently! I think maybe the fact that I held the last step, a horse stance/knife-hand strike, for quite awhile as the blue belts finished their forms probably helped me a lot. We then did the sparring and self-defense required and I got to fall for the blue belt. :D

In the end, I was triumphant, "skipping" a belt in essence and going from Orange to Green. I love TKD so much. It's really the first thing I've learned and practiced that has felt like it's mine. That is, none of my friends or family got me into it—they all ask me about it. Afterwards at dinner, I was asked if I plan to go all the way to black belt. That would be a "yes"!