Part 1 of Lifestyle Change: My relationship with my weight

Losing weight has been my goal for years and years. In high school, I was a varsity athlete and in very good shape, going to the gym regularly and playing softball. I think at my peak condition I was around 140 lbs.

By my second year of college, I had let all physical activity slide. I was no longer active in any capacity, opting instead to stay up late and play video games with my boyfriend and roommate. The pounds started to creep up and I gained about 25 pounds by the end of college besides being totally physically unfit. To be honest, I just blamed microwave pot pies.

After college, I started working full time, got married and my weight kept increasing. It happened so slowly that I really didn't notice until I noticed. My husband thought he would "help" by getting me a gym membership for Christmas 2003. Ha! I didn't go. I didn't want to go. I was sad and stressed and so many other things that I wasn't in a mindset to lose weight. As I hit 200 lbs., I even tried a weight loss program with my mother-in-law. When that didn't work, I blamed the transfats in their food and that the program was not structured for vegetarians.

In 2005 I started learning Taekwondo and did lose some weight. By the end of 2006, after moving to Austin and going through a divorce, I was down to about 175. Then in January 2007 I got laid off, and into a new long-term relationship. From the time I started a new job in April to the end of the year, I gained back around 30 lbs.

My clothes didn't fit. A few months later, the scale topped at 212. I felt like a failure.